Thursday, January 3, 2013

#AutismDevotion to Brotherhood

This post is part of a community positivity project that some of us bloggers are working on called Autism Devotion...Each writer is putting a different spin on the prompt, and I will include links to others as they come in. You can also find these stories on Twitter #AutismDevotion.

Autism Devotion to Brotherhood

I have two Sons.

Max is the more rare extroverted Autistic. His obsession, his passion, his special interest is people! His first therapist made sure to bring a "boy," doll for him to play with, or he would not be satisfied. He wants to hug every person he encounters. He invites all perfect strangers to our Thanksgiving dinner. He yells, "I love everybody!"

Ty is the more traditional introverted Autistic. His interests are about things like books, and drawing, and geography. Quiet things. Things that can be done alone. When he first began to speak, we would often have to "catch him," in the act, because he would clam right back up if he knew we were listening. If we cheered for his progress, he shied away. He whispers "I love you, Mommy."

And they are twins.

And their differences hardly stop there.

Their sensory needs and challenges are opposite as well. Where one seeks the other avoids and vice versa. One is learning letters and to read early, the other is learning numbers and math early. One eats only the crusts off his sandwich and the other eats everything but the crusts. One talks much too quickly, and the other needs more auditory processing time. In fact, their very first conversation was actually an argument over our background dinner music choice.

Max said "Classical!"
Ty said "Jazz!"

And so on, and so on...

The first thing I thought when I learned I was having twins, was "Oh! My children have their best friend already!" What a gift!? Their Soul mate! A person they can always count on! A trusted companion! Everyone told me, get through the first year of babies, and they will play so well together you will be the one left out. I waited and waited. It did not happen that way at all. One of the many clues that lead us to Autism was that the wonderful and special "twin bond," was just not coming to fruition. It seemed they had so far to go to get to each other.

I took some good advice to heart. "Give 'em a minute," a friend said. I did just that. I waited longer, I waited hopefully. I had faith that giving our family the extra time we needed to gather ourselves would help us all to bond together. I believed that they would find that way to each other, and let me tell you, I have never been wrong when I believed in my Sons.

Max, with his strong desire to have a constant playmate, his never ending persistence, his quick to forgive and try again spirit, pushed for Ty, and pushed for Ty, and pushed for Ty.

Max pushed for brotherhood.

Ty, with his reflective and private ways, his hesitations and reservations about touch, his inability to predict the actions of his jumpy, active twin, trusted for Max, and trusted for Max, and trusted for Max.

Ty trusted for brotherhood.

And now? No doubt about it. Brotherhood rules.

They have their best friend.
They have their Soul mate.
They have hard fought for their twin bond.

And it is all theirs to know.
That sacred relationship.

It is me gladly left watching.
It is a beautiful unity!

It is two Autistic boys, devoted to brotherhood.

Other Autism Devotion Posts:

Life with Aspergers: Autism Devotion to Mothers

This is not what I signed up for: Autism Devotion: Helping

Unstrange Minds: Autism Devotion: Adults Advocates

Autism Art Project: Autism Devotion: Ode to Joy and Speaking to Animals

Reinventing Mommy: Autism Devotion: What Love Is

Fasten Her Seatbelt: autism 'devotion' : sisters

Kazbrooksblog: Love Conquers A Cliche


  1. How beautiful your two boys are! And I love to see twins expressing their unique, different selves. So lovely how your boys love each other, each coming from their own, opposite perspective and meeting the other in a middle-ground of brotherhood.